Excuse me while I wax the cucumbers.
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in holes in their bodies. I don’t know why. |
They need some waxing every once in a while. If only it weren’t for my absolute lack of companionship maybe waxing cucumbers wouldn’t be my hobby. But since I have no friends, it’s just what I do. Need something to keep you occupied, anyway. But fuck that, when you have nobody to share your product with it’s tough to be proud of it. Truly, I have no friends. Except my dog, but my dog packed up all of his shit in a little satchel, wrote me a note, and caught a Greyhound bus for San Antonio. He’s a fucking poodle, it’s amazing that he was even allowed on a Greyhound bus. If only someone would call me. I got a big expensive camera phone that stores 7000 pictures and 32,767 numbers. I have the number for Paolo’s Pizza and my own phone so I don’t forget it, and a picture of the biggest shit I ever took. At least, the biggest one since I got the phone. Actually I took the dump a bit before I bought the phone, and I was so proud of it that I just didn’t flush it, so by the time I got the picture it was just a soupy brown mix of dissolved toilet paper and broken-up turd chunks. Tim’s Extra Chunky Turd Soup. I was also proud of it because it looked like a cucumber. I’ve never eaten cucumber in my life, though, because I’d always rather wax them.
For this patient’s previous therapy records, see this manila folder. For newer records, look at this file.
