(The screen displays a graphic of a freshly flattened dolphin, with the caption “ROADKILL!”)
Dale, the Sports Guy: And that’s why my wife left me.
Penny, the Anchor: Thanks Dale. Boy, figure skating really is boring as [bleep], isn’t it?
Dale: I’m going to go drink myself to sleep now.
Penny: You do that! And now, over to Sunny with this week’s weather forecast. Sunny?
Sunny: Well, as you can see, it is absolutely beautiful out there right now. Highs are somewhere in the mid seventies, with a heat index also in the mid seventies.
(A graphic of an anthropomorphic sun wearing sunglasses appears behind Sunny, with a caption reading “Awesome”)
Sunny: Expect it to be partly cloudy and pleasant later tonight. Then tomorrow, sunny with temperatures in the mid 70′s again. That should last until about 4:30 in the afternoon, at which point it will continue to be sunny and perfect out. And now for the ten day forecast.
(A calendar appears behind him)
Sunny: For the rest of the week, we’ll get a really nice sunny day, followed by an incredibly nice sunny day, then two more nice sunny days, and finally another nice sunny day. After that, the weather’ll pretty much be perfect for three straight days.
Penny: Farenheit or Celcius?
Sunny: Does it matter? After that, more awesome weather, followed by a warm spell and more sun.
Penny: Sounds like we’ve got a pretty ordinary week ahead of us. Any advice for people who might be going outside today?
Sunny: Don’t move to Pittsburgh.
