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Those of you among our club-going readership may have noticed a new craze sweeping the scene. But to everyone other than you, Greg, the word DVDA may still be strange and unfamiliar. What is the DVDA? Where did it come from? Can it be cured with penicillin?
Before we have to call in the riot squad, allow me to clear up the confusion. The DVDA is the hot new dance begun in California’s infamous San Fernando Valley. Experts tell us it was discovered by accident when a game of co-ed touch football ended in a five-person collision. The result was history-making fluid perfection that will leave your partner completely filled… with excitement!
I asked Mike Hofdi, polo-shirt enthusiast and suspected date rapist (Mike: “the burden of proof is on the state!”) what he thinks of the DVDA.
“It just makes sense, you know?” said Mike, in between squirts of Axe Body Spray. “Me and my friends, we like to travel in a pack of four, and sometimes we all go after the same girl. With the DVDA, we don’t have to fight for that chick. We can all take her together, and it’s not gay. Well… No, it’s not gay.”
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By now, you might be curious just how you do the DVDA. Well, start with four guys that are relatively comfortable with each other (“Dude, I want you to know that like, not in a gay way or anything, but that I just think you’re a really good-looking dude, you know, like objectively, or whatever”). Next, find a girl with the right blood-alcohol content and a problem childhood. Pass the point of no return, and then finish it off with a cry in the shower. You’ve done it!
Still confused? Good – you need to be to take part in the DVDA. But The Surgeon is legally obligated to stop right here. For further explanation, consult urbandictionary.com.
