In the question-asking system, there are two distinct but equally important groups of people: the people who ask questions, and Tanzmetall, who sits behind an information desk and listens to them. These are their stories.
“Hey, can I borrow a cup?”
“…A what?”
“A cup.”
“Uh, okay…”
“One of your ashtrays is on fire.”
“Yeah, in that case, here you go.”
“Hey, thanks. Where can I find a water fountain?”
(Phone rings.)
“Carnegie Mellon University Information Desk, how may I help you?”
“Hi, I’m calling because I have a conference in Pittsburgh next weekend, and I’m scheduled to stay in the Doubletree. I’m just wondering what your rates are.”
“Uh… our what?”
“Your rates.”
(Usually when a question makes no sense, I try to get people to elaborate until it does.)
“So… okay, this conference, what is it about?”
“It’s a medical conference.”
(I check our events listings.)
“I can’t find it in the schedule.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s at the convention center.”
“Hang on. The conference isn’t at CMU?”
“No, it’s at the convention center.”
“And where are you staying?”
“The Doubletree.”
“Well, this is Carnegie Mellon University. … So, uh, what exactly do you need to know from me again?”
“Your rates. It’s okay, I’m a resident of New Jersey.”
“Sir… Carnegie Mellon University is not a hotel.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, we’re not affiliated with the hotel that’s hosting this convention. We’re also not affiliated with the convention center that it’s being held at. I don’t even really know how you got our phone number.”
“Oh, so what do I do now?”
(…Is this guy serious?)
“…I would recommend calling the hotel.”
“Carnegie Mellon University Infodesk, how may I help you?”
“Hi, I spilled boiling water on my leg.”
“… …Oh.”
“Yeah, it’s not too bad, but I was just wondering what I should do now.”
“Well… you should probably have it looked at by a doctor.”
“Okay. Where is the campus health center?”
“The corner of Forbes and Morewood.”
“Oh, okay! That’s a great idea, I’ll go there.”
Sometimes I just don’t know what’s going through peoples’ heads when they pick up the phone and call us.
I don’t constantly sound frazzled or incompetent, but the weird questions really throw me off and they’re the only ones I’m posting. And in case you’re wondering, those aren’t all of the strange questions I’ve gotten.
