Dear Grampa Judd,
My girlfriend wants me to use a condom, but I don’t know where to find one. Where can I find them? Do any government services hand them out?
-Clueless in Kentucky
Dear Clueless,
Your an ungrateful little FUCKTIE. Back in ‘Nam we didn’t even always have GIRLS and we fucked anyway! You wanna talk about SERVICES? How about an escort service that only hires out FUCKIN’ CHARLIES? You wanna fuck somebody named Charlie? HUH?! DO YA?
I’ll hand you out, I will, I’ll BACKHAND you in the FACE.
-Grampa Judd
Dear Grampa Judd,
My friend Joe smokes a lot. He wants me to start. I like Joe but I don’t like smoking. What should I do?
-Ambivalent in Anaheim
Dear Assmuncher,
Take the damn reefer, you little shit. I lost a leg at My Lai so that you could smoke your fucking pie-hole off. You think I watched my best friend die while I strangled the life out of him so you could SIT THERE and CRY ABOUT IT while watching WILL AND GRACE and buying CENTRAL-GODDAMN-HEATING from a sales-succubus wearing a TUBE TOP?! Hell NO. One of these days I’m’a just shoot Walt the Fuck Disney in the FUCKING SKULL.
Actually while you’ve got the door open can you send me a sales succubus wearing a tube top.
-Grampa Judd
Content was originally created by Tanzmetall and published by readme.
