I recently heard someone tell another person something absolutely preposterous. See if you can understand why anyone would say this…
“A pregnant woman is the most beautiful thing in the world.”
NO!
For anyone that may not remember, let’s take a look at a pregnant woman.
There is no way that anyone could mistake a woman with a big ol’ bulge in her gut for the most beautiful thing in the world. The only reasons anyone would say this follow:
1: They have been confronted by a pregnant woman who happens to be hungry, and wish to avoid being eaten along with everything else in the room.
2: They want to seem deep, and therefore mistranslate the “beauty” of life’s workings into the aesthetic beauty of a physical pregnant woman.
3: They have just cheated on their pregnant wife.
4: They love things that are in actuality REALLY gross.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I always want to go up to her and just ask “WHY??!!” Kids suck. They’re expensive, they smell bad, you have to wipe their asses for a couple years, and they eventually grow up to spite you. Not only that but they eat up all your free time and no longer allow you to have loud sex without buying a hotel room and a babysitter. Seriously. Not only that, but why have a kid now, when the entire world is in the shitter? And did I mention that they’re expensive? The average cost of raising a child is over $250,000. That’s the cost of 4 well-equipped sports cars! Waaay cooler than kids.
I think I’ll start telling people that this is the most beautiful thing in the world.
