Today, George Carlin got into another argument with God.
“Fuck you!” he hurled at the similarly-bearded deity. “No, fuck YOU,” God spewed back. For the first time in his life, Carlin couldn’t think of a witty retort; God won the debate, and Carlin got fucked.
“It’s really a shame, since they have rather a lot in common,” said a mutual friend who spoke to Clunkline. “They both rant and rave, make dubious if interesting claims as to the nature of the world, and are completely sure that they’re always right. Although, if you ask me, George is a little smarter… but don’t tell God I said that.”
Regarding his funeral arrangements, Carlin has said that Mary is not welcome to do even so much as project an ethereal presence down onto his casket, since as a virgin she would be wearing white and not black, the color of mourning. God has responded furiously, pointing out that Carlin probably doesn’t give a damn and is just picking nits to irritate him. Carlin responded by saying the only way he’d let Mary attend was by celestially deflowering her so she could wear black, and that “once you go black, well, you know the rest.” Upon hearing that, God’s head popped with anger.
Barack Obama said that God’s comments were the “same old Washington politics with the same old Washington players.” When we asked if his commenting on this current event was in any way relevant or appropriate, Obama told us that we were lobbyists and also George Bush, gave us the finger, and walked away.
Tanzmetall salutes this noble satirist, and his unending fight against the evils of organized religion, and will be wearing black for the rest of his life. For serious.
