Aspiring City Councilwoman Hillary DeFelice Surprised at Sudden Lack of Support

According to Wilkes-Barre City Council hopeful Hillary DeFelice, her election campaign is in hot water.

“I remember back in February, and escalating through April, it didn’t matter where I was in Wilkes-Barre, there was a ‘Hillary 08′ sign in every other yard. It was touching. I had no idea that my candidacy inspired such a following, that I had such high name recognition. It flew in the face of every trend in local politics. And then, around the beginning of June, it just stopped.”

According to DeFelice, her fall from grace was as unexpected as her meteoric rise. “I can’t imagine what it was that turned people off,” she told Clunkline, shaking her head. “Ever since May, I’d started seeing a dropoff in the amount of the signs left standing, and so near the end of that month, I tried and turn things around and get some positive press. I said I’d push hard for a rebate on school lunches for kids with special needs, and that I wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I thought it would show I was tough, that I stand up for what’s right. I have no idea what it was about this policy that everybody hated. Don’t people like retarded kids?” At this point, she broke down sobbing. “I just wanted to help the community! I knew politics was a bad choice! Why doesn’t anyone like me?!”

After we gave her a few pats on the back, she regained her composure. “I… I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just been a rough time for me, for my candidacy. But I’m going to keep on fighting. It isn’t all bad, anyway,” she said, cleaning her face of tears. “In spite of all that’s happened, there’s still a few hold-outs.”

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