Believe it or not, plenty of people care enough about Canada to ask questions about it! However, there are many common misconceptions about what it means to be Canadian. Please enjoy browsing this page, which will sort out the myths from the legends, the half-truths from the three-quarters-truths.
Q: “Is it cold?”
A: I don’t know, why don’t you come here and find out? Buy some things while you’re in town (we have hockey sticks super-cheap!). Hope that answers your question!
Q: “I heard Canada was a fictional country and up there, there’s just this giant backdrop.”
A: No, no there is no backdrop, just us Canadians, ha ha! (Or, as the colorful Quebecois say, hoh hoh!)
Q: “Do you really say ‘aboot’?”
A: Depends which of us you talk to. Frank, who constitutes 12% of the population, does indeed have an accent.
Q: “12 doesn’t divide evenly into 100.”
A: Frank is currently slightly less valuable than an American person. The exchange rate varies.
Q: “That still does not make sense.”
A: Clearly you don’t visit often, eh!
Q: “Are Mounties retarded?”
A: No, they average an IQ of 82, which, in most American states, is in fact just above the line for mental retardation!
Q: “What I mean is, they look retarded.”
A:
Case rested.
Q: “A friend of mine and I personally walked into the backdrop. We both broke our noses on it. Who will pay for the surgery? I hear you have good healthcare.”
A: I already answered this, ha ha, there is no backdrop! Sorry about your noses but they must not have hit anything.
Q: “The FBI have photos of a backdrop north of the Great Lakes. Aerial and satellite photos show an uncharted abyss where you say “Canada” is. I contend that your country is fictional.”
A: No, and we are not just British and French scientists conducting experiments in this abyss on how cold we can make Mounties.
Q: “When it is really cold do you play hockey with french people saying ‘aboot’ and ‘eh’? Also, is your election system fucking retarded?”
A: I CAN’T LIVE THIS LIE ANYMORE OKAY YES IT IS A BACKDROP.
