Interesting but short hook that makes people want to know more.
Elaboration on the hook or restatement of the title. Question that sets up the rest of the article? Talking more about the ridiculous premise of this article that makes it humorous in a ludicrous way that oddly resembles something that could happen in reality. Reference to the ancient near east, 19th century literature, colonial America, or the current presidential election. RIDICULOUS ASSERTION MADE IN CAPS TO MAKE IT SEEM MORE APPLICABLE!!
New paragraph that changes the tone so that people don’t get overwhelmed. Something about what I intend to do that would surely get me hunted by every law enforcement officer on the planet. Itemized list and series of assumptions that would allow me to succeed and survive despite overwhelming odds. Obscure, warped reference to someone who did something similar in the past.
Curse word sentence that ends the article without resolving much at all.
