It has come to my attention that my esteemed rival, DNC Spokesman Benjamin F. Hallett, has described Barack Obama’s energy plan as “clairvoyant”, given that he outlined it in October 2007, long before gas hit $4.50 a gallon.
Well, if Hallett thinks Obama is so clairvoyant, then how does he explain Obama’s vote on the Punting Toddlers Act of 2006?
In 2006, Obama voted “nay” on legislation that would have made kicking toddlers punishable by crucifixion. “This is cruel and unusual punishment,” he alleged at the time–if Obama is so clairvoyant, how come he didn’t see that THAT WAS THE POINT? “We’ll never need [this legislation because toddlers will never be kicked],” he said a day later when questioned about his vote. Well, Barack Hussein “Clairvoyant” Hussein Obama should tell that to Jimmy Markowicz, a 3 year old that I booted vigorously the other day. “No [toddler will ever be kicked]“? Jimmy and I can both personally assure you, this is not true.
Obama needs to stop pretending he can predict the future, and start taking a stand against law-breakers. He is soft on crime. Why? I leave that for the racists to conjecture.
I feel it necessary to point out that my inestimable colleague, RNC Spokesperson Edwin D. Morgan, spent last weekend kicking my toddler and the toddlers of my neighborhood. It’s time for CHANGE in Washington.
That’s why I’m calling on all Democrats and like-minded supporters to come out for a Kick for Change rally next weekend, where we will go to the homes of registered Republicans, and kick their toddlers so hard that their little bitty GOP eyes fly out of their little bitty GOP skulls. There’s no better way to show Washington that we WILL NOT STAND FOR KICKING CHILDREN.
If you are a registered Republican and favor Senator Obama in this election cycle, you can save a volunteer a trip to your house by kicking your own children.