WASHINGTON
After years of idiotic backwards rednecks from Missouri and South Carolina bragging to informed northerners from Massachusetts and Pennsylvania about how their wild, uninformed, ridiculous vote cancels out “y’alls” informed, well thought out, researched votes, the Federal government has changed the rules.
From now on, each successive election will be determined by the absolute difference in the total popular vote and electoral college, by state. This means that in 2008, only 3,012,166 Americans will be able to cast a vote for president, and only 35 electoral votes will be spread out across the fifty states. The fifteen states with the lowest absolute turnout last election (not percentage) will not get a vote and the rest will be given one electoral vote each. (sorry Rhode Island) A candidate will need eighteen votes to be elected. The roughly three million popular electors will be chosen from the remaining states weighted by turnout percentage (not absolute) in the last election. Anyone else who tries to vote without being a chosen elector will be allowed to submit a ‘confidence statement’ in the form of an uncounted vote, for purely analytical purposes.
In subsequent elections, the number of popular electors will be reduced by the absolute difference of total electors and electors who voted unless more than fifty percent voted, in which case the number of electors will be increased by that number. The votes in the electoral college will also follow this pattern, but no state will receive a second vote until all states have at least one.
