Captain exits the super lift and comes onto the bridge.
Commander Johnny Derringer, a blind black android woman from Iowa, gives the report.
Derringer: Sir, there is a space anomaly over there, and we are drifting blindly into it!
Captain: Well, whatever you do, try communicating with it before we get caught in a time loop or that R character comes and stops time and violates us anally again.
Derringer: Opening up thing.
They open the thing and the space dude appears.
Dude: You are interfering with our incubation space. Theres thirty cubic meters are clearly marked.
Captain: GET HIM!!
Everyone on the bridge pulls out high caliber hand guns and empties their clips into the dude.
Dude: I am dead, Horatio. Wretched queen, adieu!
Captain: Oh no, he was english! Now we have to fight a war.
The admiral appears on screen.
Admiral: Ok the deal is if you can fight your way out there won’t be any disciplinary action.
Captain: Ok.
At that moment, a dozen dozen dozen enemy starman-o-warships surround the ship, which is named Endeavoyagaprise by the way. The enemy captian gets out of his ship and shouts over a megaphone.
Other captain: What the fuck, man? Ok give up or we’re gonna have to—-
At that moment the captain gives the order to launch all missiles and to run over the enemy captain.
Captain: Shoot everything and run that guy over!
A thousand missiles fly out and destroy all the ships. The enemy captain pisses his space pants and the ship sucks him into the engines and he gets spit out the back in his same shape but thinner and made out of ash, but still wearing his in tact captain’s hat then he crumples up into a pile.
Captain: KILL EVERYONE!!!
The ship flies around spinning on three axes and shooting flame and bullets and blowing up all the planets. Eventually they get back to Earth.
Admiral: You did it, hurrah!
Captain: I know it was awesome.
Derringer: We learned a lot from that culture.
The end.
