Pinedale resident Joseph Y. Jennings yesterday announced publicly his decision to ‘go for it’. Today, the region watched in horror as he went for it.
The 47 year old local idiot had been talking with his family for some time about going for it. Mostly it was at dinner or after a family outing. His wife, Ellen, recalls, “sure he’d say his plan for going for it, but I never thought he would actually try.”
Earlier today, however, Jennings just went for it. He started alone but a crowd quickly assembled as it appeared he was going to do it. At the same time, panicked girly-men snitches Ray Hertford and James Randall called the cops because they weren’t men enough to know a good show when they saw it.
Midway through going for it, the authorities arrived but it was too late to stop him and too dangerous to intervene. Jennings was going for it full force. Suddenly, tragedy struck and his going turned into stopping. Much of the crowd was turned away the the gruesome sight and the authorities cordoned off the going-area for proper clean up.
Residents are warned to not go for it, and are reminded that going for it is illegal and stupid.
He is survived by his wife and 25 year old daughter.
