Following last week’s speech in front of the Victory Column in Berlin’s Tiergarten, German citizens became so uplifted and emboldened that they ‘pulled a reverse France’, dissolving and liquidating the democratic government and installing Barack Obama as the Chancellor of Germany’s Sixth Reich, which is just a modern copy of their second.
The modern claimant to the Imperial throne, John F. Hohenzollern of Toledo, Ohio, will be crowned and consecrated in Brandenburg (recently renamed from Berlin) next week. He is of direct lineage to Frederick Barbarossa, and a fourth cousin of a person who used to walk William II’s dogs.
Upon hearing the news, Obama gladly accepted the position, saying his first orders of business will be to invade Tanzania and Alsace-Lorraine. Recruitment for the German army immediately skyrocketed to 4000% higher than average, and a newly created Kaiserliche Marine began construction of fourteen Dreadnought-class battleships.
Albatross factories vacant for ninety years have reopened with a contract from the Luftstreitkräfte, and work has begun on the largest cannon ever conceived, capable of lobbing a shell from Brandenburg to Moscow.
Obama will continue his American presidential race in earnest, saying he would have been happy “just being Margrave of Thuringia”.
