While President Bush’s second term in office may be drawing to a close, many upstanding or reclining citizens are still waiting for him to deliver on what some are calling his unrealistically rosy campaign promises.
“He promised me a pony!” said Lindsay Magritte tearfully, a 27-year-old investment banker from Tennessee.
Analysts are agreed that Bush promised too much. “I mean, sure, the man wanted to get elected,” said Phil Davis, an elections pundit. “But some of his promises are simply unrealistic. Aiming for Mars is fine, but a Space Shuttle in every American garage? That’s ridiculous. They won’t fit. Parked on the street? I could buy that.”
“Truly gratuitous, that’s what it is,” said Sam Diggs, district attorney of Central Florida. “Bush promised me all the benefits of Scientology for half the price, and a full purging of my Body Thetans. Well, I think you can guess how well that turned out. Oh L. Ron, how I have strayed!”
“There’s no holding the big guy to these promises now,” said Peter Schenly, a punditry pundit. “But still – ” Peter took a moment to wipe a single tear from his glistening eye, “I really would have liked to get back together with Melissa, like Dubya said I would.”
Bush has also failed to deliver on his promises of World Peace, A Rainbow For Every Puppy, and the Second, Third, and Fourth Comings of Jesus.
Content was originally created by Sgt. Earth and published by readme.
