Why A Swinger?
Election Day in Missouri starts with everyone talking about how much they love Bud Light and Cardinals baseball. Then it ends.
Missourians are pissed that they don’t have the most state borders.
The south east section of the state is usually called the ‘Misscrotum’.
Missouri is vapid.
Keys To Victory
Start out by buying six oxen, 100 lbs of bacon, 20 lbs of coffee, a rifle, 12 boxes of 20 bullets, and a large farm wagon. Join the second largest train of emigrants and hope to be elected trail guide.
Who Will Win?
McCain. He will challenge Obama to a case race, and allow him to choose what they will drink. When Obama says anything other than an AB product/swill, he loses automatically.