Way back when the Forums were young, when farkle-farkle, nervestaple, and I lived together, when the grass was green and the economy was real, I made a mistake.
I decided to see what would happen if I created the first sockpuppet account on the Forums, and used it to post the most terrifyingly racist and macabre things I could think of, ostensibly as submissions to the website. To post as if I was some anonymous person aspiring to write for Clunkline who could only think of horribly disturbing things to write about. I never thought of it as “me” that was writing–it was almost more like acting than writing. And I surprised myself constantly with the terrors that came out of the keyboard.
I had many reasons. I wanted to see what the Clunkline staff would think. I had writer’s block, and I needed something to jar me out of it. I wanted to see if we had standards–if my writers would admit a subpar auditionee. I wanted to liven up the unrepentently-dull Audition forum. But mostly? I was bored. Don’t let my rationalizations delude you: I have no good reasons for doing what I did. And in doing so, I betrayed the trust of every one of my writers.
Hilarity, as they say, ensued.
If you are offended by satirical or ironic racism, misogyny, cruelty, or graphic violence, do not go on to the next page. If you are offended by anything at all, do not go on to the next page. If you are a human being, do not go on to the next page. I accept no responsibility whatsoever for whether or not you are disturbed by the ramblings of a fictional character. Proceed at your own risk.