I ran into the indigenous peoples of the Americas today. I felt really awkward.
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Some time ago, I wrote of a fellow named Koji who was (past tense) in my screenwriting class for a while. I am posting his first, best work as a tribute to the great writer that once was. According to well-placed sources, Phil Higgins of Omaha, Nebraska, would rather live with a perpetually-clogged toilet than deal with the problem. And when he is forced to deal with it, instead of plunging it, he just flushes, waits five minutes for the water to drain, and flushes again, repeating ad nauseum until it either fixes itself or his roommate fixes it for him.
President-Elect Obama shocked many in the punditocracy by nominating Chin Soo-Choo, the world’s only 5-star Starcraft general, to be his Secretary of Defense. “Chin has all the qualities that I look for in a general: he has a complete grasp of the proper use of High Templar, he is unbeatable when playing Zerg, and he is so über-micro it’s ridiculous.” Dwayne Smith, a physicist with a Ph.D. from MIT, has named a developing physics concept after himself. The Smith Point, as it has come to be called, is an expression representing the point in time at which one’s need to relieve oneself overcomes one’s aversion to sitting on a room-temperature toilet seat during the winter months. [Hook:] [Verse 1:] So what if it’s really nothing more than a real ad for Pepto-Bismol?
Something about Texas has bothered me for years, but I was never able to put my finger on it until now.  Coincidence? Hey, Pittsburgh urban explorers and tourists! Make sure to check out these spots that smell like poo. Location: Fifth Ave. and Amberson The narrow victory of “Yes” on Election Day appears to be due, in part, to interference from Reform Party’s “Maybe”, which received 4% of the popular vote. According to exit polling data, 2/3 of Maybe voters had No as a second choice. Had Maybe not been on the ballot, it is highly probable that No would have won. |
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