Chicago is busy constructing a school for the victims of bullying. That’s great—they should build more schools like this, for my amusement. Because you see, in every social circle imaginable, someone will be picked on. I have fun imagining the guy who’s a big enough loser to get picked on at THIS school.
I can picture him now. “I wath hoping to come here and become, like, the King of Lootherth, but… that didn’t really work out,” he would say, through his lisp, braces, zit-covered mouth, with spittle flying like anti-aircraft fire. He would have to be a fat emo wiccan transvestite otaku who likes 80’s music. YOU would pick on him. That’s how much of a loser he’d have to be.
How do you apply for a school for losers? Do you send them youtube links of you getting wedgies? How does it look on your college app? “I went to the Chicago School for Rejects.” ACCEPTED! …I can’t picture it.
A fellow writer of mine suggested that this was a covert government operation to quarantine and castrate all the losers. There are some obvious problems with that. The school was originally going to just be for homosexual students who were the victims of bullying. Castrating losers and homosexuals is what I like to call… a waste of federal funding!
Many of my best friends are losers.
Content was originally created by Tanzmetall and published by readme.