I was in the army once. I was part of the Queen’s Irregulars, 6th Division.
I remember one time I was following this pheromone trail at dusk. I had a bad feeling about things. I could feel the hairs rising on the back of my antenna. Suddenly the enemy was all around me. Ambush! It was chaos. I could barely tell friend from foe.
Many died on that day. Many friends of mine. It seems like just yesterday I was laughing and carving up dead capterpillars with Stevie, but he’s gone now. They’re all gone. All dead.
Afterwards I couldn’t bring myself to fight any more. So I fled to Canada, to a colony of other Army Ant deserters I’d smelled pheromones about. But sometimes, I do miss the fighting. And the glory. And the sight of that hot, sexy Queen.