LG:
EightyEight – Function as a flux capacitor.
AsiaMinor – Physical contraceptive.
Inferno – Be a zippo lighter.
Assfuckety – Turn into a smudgy piece of shit when you use your greasy fingers on it
Apple:
iTouchmyself – Comes with either Tube or Socket attachment.
iRadiate – Treats cancer as fast as it causes it.
iHaveAGun – Settles the abortion debate damn quick.
