would you like a bucket of pork bellies

good morning sir
would you like a bucket of pork bellies
frozen concentrated orange juice
no sir, pork bellies, they are made of pork
and have bellies
human bellioes
only when the groundskeeper falls into the vat, ha ha! but no, seriously, pork
we are trying to restart the economy by selling commodities door to door
we thought the smell might entice people
so how many billion bushels can i put you down for
Elen
sorry sir did you say eleven
Elen
sorry sir did you say fifteen
sir
what are you staring at behind me
Elen
oh! goodness me what a precious child
what is her name
Forfy
I thought it would be… uh…
nevermind
does forfy want any pork bellies
Forfy Elen
look are you going to buy any pork bellies or not
sir I am a traveling salesman and I asked you a direct question
and as we all know it is unlawful not to answer a salesman’s direct question
Where am i
what year is it
sir?
it is 1933
you are in baghdad
it is the eighteenth year of the war of devolution
pork bellies are the national currency
does chuckie still tickle the ivories at the embassy lounge
chuckie has been dead for three hundred years, sir
this infernal machine
are you ok, sir? willl you be needing a guide?
…or…
…pork bellies…
I may be a traveling salesman but I dabble in guiding
and nobody seems to want this sloppy bucket of guts anyway
here, forfy, you may play in it
do you have an baubles
or trinkets
shhhhh!
quiet down
the palace guard will hear you
I… shouldn’t be saying this
but if you want to buy baubles
I also dabble in the black market
I can… hook you up with the good stuff
for a price
a high price
to be paid in pork bellies
Beaubles
sir… sir! my goodness me
the top half of your head is disappearing
you are fading away from the top down
like what happened in the silent classic, “forward to the past”
…they’re gone!
…
dammit
my pork bellies disappeared with them
Hah!
it is i
no!
your nemesis throughout time and space
professor cosmotosis
your henchman just stole $324.88 in commodities from me
and also my favorite pink bucket