Zuul’s Revenge: A Romantic Comedy by Vincent Q. Brown

Mr Speelburg, please stop returning my manuscript with red marks all over it. I will continue to resend it until it is 1) read 2)) purchased 3))) heaped praise upon and 4)))) YOU SHUT UP.


Zuul’s Revenge: Or How I learned to stop Worrying and Love THat Creepy Guy who Stalks me

Julie is walking down the street. she whistles politely to herself.

Suddenly a MAN jumps out from behind a BUSH. He is naked except for a sweatervest made from stitched-together salami.

MAN

I love you , Julie! That is why I wear my salami.

JULIE

Ewwww! The only thing I hate more than salami is premarital sex! Get’s away from me!

Julie picks up a PARK BENCH and throws it at the MAN. It hits him in the salami. he falls over

MAN.

Oh noooo! you have injured my soul, which was in the salami

Julie and the stops, looks back at him.

JULIe

Oh goodness me, great balls of fire, I did not mean to hurt you with the park bench I only threw it to be FUNNY. what can I do to make your final hours more peaceful

MAN.

BLOWJOB PLEASE

The man takes Julie’s HEAD and shoves it towards his salami

they live happily ever after THE END

.

wait i forgot to write about zuul didnt i

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