(This is the third installation of Old Games That Amuse Burpen.)
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It’s amazing how many pieces of crap were made based on (and in worship of) Michael Crichton’s novel Jurassic Park. These pieces of crap included a Spielberg movie. That said, perhaps the majority of the crap was actually based on the movie… Anyhow, a Sega Genesis game was one piece of crap to result from this. And man, was it amusing crap.
You can play as either Dr. Grant or a velociraptor.
| FUCK |
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DOCTOR |
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GRANT. |
Who the hell would want to run around as a human with a tranquilizer gun in the middle of Jurassic Park? Fuck that. If there’s going to be dinosaurs in a game I had better be able to play as one. And fortunately I am in the game Jurassic Park. I wouldn’t be writing this article if it were otherwise.
That’s right. Up yours, Grant.
As a raptor, you have some kind of vague goal, like… uhh…
Oh, right! Your objective is chasing down and killing the puny human named Grant. The one that sucks horse (or perhaps more appropriately, raptor) dick as a playable character. You’re not sure what Grant is trying to do on the island but you know he’s weak and probably tasty. Good enough for me.
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Gameplay is fairly simple as a raptor. You have an extensive and diverse set of moves, including: bite, claw, bite/claw, and claw/bite. Most things die whenever you jump on them. You can eat some of the other dinosaurs (and/or pieces of raw meat inexplicably laying around in the jungle) to get health back. You can’t eat the park guards but I like to think that’s because you’re saving room for when you catch up to Dr. Grant.
Controlling the raptor’s movement is a little iffy. Holding the up button makes you go into “run really fast and enable 50-foot-high jump” mode, which you need to utilize in able to get through certain stages like the sewer area.
The sewer area has a bunch of drain openings stacked up and facing one another across a chasm. You have to jump from drain to drain to get to the top. Unfortunately, I had always thought the mechanics of the game force you to use the “high jump mode” here, as attempts to clear the gap with a normal jump will fall short of one of the opposite drains. So I kept trying to hold ‘up’ and run out of the drain at breakneck speed to allow me to jump higher/longer, and depending on my timing I almost always did one of these two things: jump too early (hit the overhanging ceiling of the drain I’m exiting and drop into the pit) or too late (run directly into the pit).
Turns out there’s a “lunge” sort of move, executed from a stationary position, that does exactly what I was trying to make the running high jump accomplish. Balls.
I try not to let the poor design of the sewer area and/or my poor grasp of the controls burst my bubble of excitement about this game. It was practically impossible for me to progress past that one level, but hey, the previous two levels are pretty fun… And at least I’m not forced to play as Dr. Grant.
