ABC – “Extreme Makeover: Mobile Home Edition”
In this ill-advised reimagining of the popular “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” series, Ty and the gang recruit 300 Sears employees to help turn a dumpy trailer into a slightly less dumpy trailer. Disaster is narrowly averted in the first episode when the trailer’s occupants emerge carrying shotguns and blast away at the camera crew, but 15 minutes and only three fatalities later, they are subdued using large quantities of alcohol.
NICKELODEON – “Shrine of the Silver Monkey”
The beloved character from “Legends of the Hidden Temple” gets its own spin-off in this exciting hour-long game show! Watch as seemingly intelligent individuals struggle fruitlessly to assemble a three piece puzzle, and lose your faith in the future of humanity in the process. Well, it’s a lot harder to remember which end of a monkey goes on the bottom when you’re under pressure!
DISCOVERY – “Shit Blowing Up”
Ever wonder what would happen if you loaded a fax machine with dynamite, or fired a rocket propelled grenade at a refrigerator? Probably not, but this show will answer all those questions and more! Featuring all sorts of random shit getting blown up in just about every possible way (and even a few impossible ways, too!), there’s never been this much destruction packed into a single hour since last year’s special “When Shit Blows Up.”
MTV – “Trashy Blonde Women Screaming At Each Other”
Finally, a show on MTV that delivers exactly what it promises. This obviously scripted “reality” show features some of the worst acting this side of “Gilmore Girls,” and trashy blonde women yelling at each other for reasons too trivial to even bother explaining. There’s also a premise of some sort, but nobody really cares or remembers what it is. In other words, it’s exactly like every other reality show on MTV.