Electric Fences: A Pointless Review

They’re quite shocking, to be sure, but how good are they really?
Fortunately for you, I have the answer!

They’re not as awesome as, say, an array of hedgehogs rolling down a hill after a bouncy ball, landing on a stage, and dancing to a pre-choreographed techno remix, but they’re okay for their job.

Speaking of which, they pretty much only have two jobs: keeping stuff out, and keeping stuff in. Depending on their target, they either succeed or fail miserably. Swine have little chance to escape from their pen, and inevitable afterlife as bacon, but using one to keep an ant farm penned in has little chance to work. That’s not to say it won’t be effective against some individual ants that find their way up to the wire, but most will be unaffected.

On the keeping things out side of things, one of the most problematic creatures that people try to ward away are humans. Here we have mixed results, usually based on the intelligence of the intruder. Drunks are a mixed result, either working really well or not at all if they’ve reached the point where they can’t feel anything. Sober humans either respect what the fence is there for and do not try to pass, or take it as some sort of challenge. These are the most troubling of all to keep out, as they may try again if the fail the first time. They’ll even go so far as to using tools to bypass the barrier. Rubber gloves are popular, but several may try more exotic devices, such as catapults. This is why I recommend lining your entire property with an electric grid. (This also helps keep birds away, or at least provides some dinner from time to time.)

So whether your goal is to keep stuff out or keep stuff in, electric fences are a viable option for you to think about. Just remember to avoid peeing on them.

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