The Logic of Ronnie
I’ve already pointed out a few examples of situations in which Ronnie makes very bizarre logical errors, but there are plenty more available. They follow.
Dear Gina,
I just wanted to let you know that I Have A court
hearing to go to tomorrow. So I have to be there at
9.00AM. I don’t know when I will be getting out of
court. I am going to try to be completed with my work
early in the morning. I just wanted to let you know so
I will return to work after the hearing.
THANK –YOU
RONNIE #7
That’s right, if Ronnie hadn’t let Gina know about this court hearing, she would not have returned to work after going to the hearing.
(and of course, -(you) has been thanked again.)
>> I Can give you Three that you can have
>> Ronnie#7
>>
>
>
As opposed to three that you definitely cannot have.
I Am Going
Not going to lunch
Here it was important to note first that Ronnie was going, and then to mention that she was not going to lunch.
Hope That ever one Is Ok At the Zoo.
Try To Have A Good Day
Ronnie #7
You just don’t want anyone to not be okay at the Zoo. It totally sucks when someone is not okay there.
Mine is in this mail bag
it’s coming in tonight mail bag
Ronnie
This one is another good one to say aloud. Try it! It’s loads of fun.
I guess the second “mail bag” is added to stress that Ronnie’s talking about mail bags.
Greet customers as they come into the building lest like to still if they know there in here
First, it’d be important to translate this. What she’s trying to say is “Greet customers as they come into the building. They are less likely to steal if they know they’re in here.” That’s right, it has nothing to do with whether or not we the cashiers know they’re in here, we’re really concerned with the customer’s self-awareness. If a customer knows he or she is present, he or she will be much less likely to steal. I guess, to Ronnie’s credit, self-awareness is probably a prerequisite to theft.
Make Sure that Drops are accounted for if you have to make a drop please do so if there is some at the counter let them see you make a drop so they know that we don’t keep that much money in the reg.
Wrong again! We’re not supposed to make safe drops in front of customers because it would present to them a temptingly large sum of money available to be snatched from the cashier’s hands.
Bathroom Checks make sure that you check them ever ½ hour if it need filled please do so. Right now we are having problems with it and if you can check it more often maybe we can keep it from over fooling.
It would be effectively impossible for the bathroom supplies to overfill, except possibly the soap, but that would be a result of employee error, not something that happens by itself that we’d seek to prevent. What we’re worried about is the exact opposite: things becoming empty, or “under fooling”.
If you have a problem don’t Hastate to call me if we can finger it out over the phone I will come in to help.
I would certainly “Hastate” to finger anything out with Ronnie, and I’m pretty sure that’s nearly a universal sentiment. However, even if you were to desire that, doing so over the phone, well, I’ve heard of “phone sex” but I don’t think it works quite that way. Of course, even if we interpret “finger it out” as “figure it out” like it’s meant to be, she say that if we can figure it out over the phone she’ll come in to help. But if it’s already figured out by way of phone, that really wouldn’t seem to necessitate her appearance at the store.
Check times on coffee, hot dog’s and pizza some one not going to buy it if it looks’ like crape
Nobody will buy it if it looks like crèpes, which is a sad indicator of the misplaced anti-French sentiment that you’ll find in conservative areas like Harrison City. That rules out pancakes, soft tortillas, and those things you get with your Peking Duck.
