starring by /written by/ actor(s) / director(s() / gaffers(s)/ /producered by(s) : VINCENT BROWN
something no one worked on but VINCENT Q. BROWN himself…
BREAKING BAD
pilot episode season 3 finale
JESSE and WALT (disguisenberg as Hisenberg) are about to do a drug deal with a MEAN MAN who is pulling teeth out of childrens’ mouths
RARRRGH I AM A BAD MAN MEAN MAN AND YOU MUST DO THE DRUG DEAL WITH ME.
Hey stop it you’ve had enough teeth pulled and we have a drug deal to do the kids shouldn’t be around for the drug deal. They should be in school learning chemistree.
these are my kids you don’t tell me what to do with my kids I TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH THEM ARRRRGH. I use them as mules which means they smuggle drugs in their bodies and also they plow my fields. This sets me up as an exceptionaly UNFORGIVING PERSON. do not forget this fact, walt or audience, as it will become important later
okay please don’t hurt us mr bad man we have good drugs. [and then we have a populer idiom of some kind possibly slang term or witty one liner]
yes but only the one of you cooked it, I WILL KILL THE OTHER
The mean man LUNGES at JJESE with a TURKEY BASTER and is TWO inches (2.4cm) from his eye with it when Walt yells
PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT
why not old man? you see I have noted your age as I have keen skils of obvesortaviotn (??? forget how to speel it lol )
you can’t cook without me and I like to coook
your right id better not kill him.
SCENE TWO.:
despite Walt’s somewhat unclear motivation for wanting to deal drugs he nonetheless delivers a compelling performance in a scene where he has to make meth or something I dhaven’t really decided yet
but it probably would have him stalking around his house late at night with his mouth hanging partway open
SCENE THREE.
we need to kill the mean man I say we use a gun
No it is too straightforward and we would forget the chemistry motif of the show if we did that
okay what will we use then
WALT pours salt on the table, but it is make-believe a deadly chemical
Do you know what this is?no you don’t you suck and are pointless. well it is a chemical, it is called CHEMICAL #4420 in the business or doxyproxyloxalenecollosseum by the big pharmasuitical companies. which stands for Doxy Proxy Allen its discoverer and the chemical ecollosseum which is named for a bacteria found only in gladiators armpits.
what do we do now
we mix it with the recipe for meth and attempt to make this kill him in some way I don’t know i haven’t really figured out what the chemical should do exactly maybe it makes lightning shoot out of my eyebrows that would be pretty cool yes okay lightning eyebrows (lightbrows??? yes! goldmine ca-ching okay they are called lightbrows.)
SCENE FIVE
pinkman gets a BETTr idea that is actualy worse and DRAMATIC IRONY audience knows it is worse
then he does it and something worse happens and they get CAPTURED by the mean man
and then they hurt him badly but do not have the guts to kill him and the tables are TURNED
but then they go back home cause we need a scene with Skylar (lol boys name) to fulfill our contractual ovulations about her appearing in each episode.
SCENE WHATEVER NUMBER COMES AFTER FIVE.
walt I hate it when you’re not speaking with me
walt grunts incoherently
walt i still hate it when your not speaking’s with me, my opinion has not changed due to your incoherent grunt
Walt whips her in the face with his penis
ooh i like that do it HARDER
he does it harder
OW HOW DARE YOU i liked it a moment ago BUT NOW I DON’T because i am prengant and MOODY ARGH im gonna go call my crazy sister now oh hi crazy sister did you steal more things yes you idd okay well i can sell them on ebay then.
okay so i haven’t really decided how to end it but HEY why am i the one who comes up with all the ideas YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO END IT OKAY JERK
jesus christ what a jerk
