Okay, right off the bat, there’s one thing I don’t get. So, there’s Dr. Manhattan, right? Big giant blue guy. Can’t miss ‘im. The dude can grow to be 80 million feet tall, and make a bajillion copies of himself, and crush a tank by waving his hand around a little bit. But he can’t do something as simple as putting on a pair of friggin’ PANTS.
“Watchmen” contains what has to be the most literal case of “blue balls” in history, and it gets a little distracting after a while. I mean, the first couple of times, you can ignore it, but they keep showing it OVER and OVER as if that’s the one “thing” they want you to remember about this movie.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some cool scenes in this movie. People get beat up and killed, and that’s always a good time right there. But there are also some scenes where people DON’T get beat up and/or killed, and it SUCKS! Really, who wants to watch a bunch of “emotion,” or people “talking,” or a “story?” I sure as hell don’t! Quit it with all the jibber-jabber and go back to the part where the guy gets his hands sawed off. That was AWESOME!
What’s NOT awesome is when two of the guys are going after the bad guy, and we keep cutting away from the exciting stuff in order to go watch Dr. Manhattan sort out his relationship issues. That’s right—guess who does most of the “character development” (i.e., boring stuff) in this movie… it’s DR. FRIGGIN’ MANHATTAN! So instead of spending more time watching REAL entertainment in which people DIE, we have to sit through the giant blue dude brooding and sulking with his giant blue member dangling out front.
Normally, I’ll enjoy any movie that has explosions in it, and I’m pretty sure there’s a few things in this movie that get blown up. I don’t really remember, though, because every time I try to recall the good parts, there’s that one big “part” that keeps getting in the way. I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be a faithful adaptation of the comic book (or “graphic novel,” if you wanna use the FANCY word for it), so maybe the book should’ve had more panels with people’s HEADS EXPLODING. Then the movie would’ve been way better.