As it happens, I have come to believe that several terms traditionally used in monogamous heterosexual marriage are inherently degrading to the parties usually yoked by their particular brand of bigotry and ignorance.
Take for instance the meaning of ‘wife’. From an Indo-German origin, the first time a woman is called a wife is usually at the conclusion of a marriage when she and her new husband are ‘pronounced man and wife’. Inspect that phrase closely and you will see that the man still gets to be a man, but the woman who was only moments before standing right there has changed into naught but a wife. In that instance she had become subservient to and worthless without that man, or at least less of a human. Our society having rejected this relic of a past belief long ago, I present this list of alternative titles for those who would be called wife which preserve our newest ideals:
- Freedom Consort
- Justice Mate
- Independence Lady
- Equal-Mistress
- Brain Concubine
- Blowjob Robot
This study will be included in the next quarterly issue of the Northern Territory Journal of Women’s Issues and Journal of International Interior Designers and Molecular Cell Biologists.
