From the Desk of the First Church of Lego (Reformed)
Good morning, my fellow minifigures.
I have received many troubling confessions as of late. It seems many members of our community are harboring dangerous thoughts as to the nature of the Creator. Questions are being asked that can only lead to treason against the almighty Builder and His books of divine instruction. I have taken it upon myself to dispel these concerns once and for all so that all of us fellow bricks can once more unite in the name of Lego.
First, many of you may ask why even good and loyal sets eventually become dismantled. My brothers and sisters, is it not the foundation of our faith that though we all come from predetermined sets, our destinies are infinite and diverse through the miracle of dismantling? For I say onto thee, our brothers and sisters who have been dismantled have also been remantled in countless other configurations! Many question this wisdom. Some sects hold to pre-deterministic notions that we are only to be what the Lego corporation commanded us to be, but nay! Look at me, my wise beard was that of a wizard, my white hands those of an astronaut, my cape from a Harry Potter set. But these predetermined elements have combined to create something new! Fear not the process of dismantling, for good things must fall apart for better things to fall together!
Many have brought up the recent tragedy of the visit of the Creator’s young nephew last week which resulted in the smashing of several sets. Yes, many bricks were separated long before their time. It was tragic and their families are in my prayers. But their material has been returned to the great bin, waiting to be infused with the Creator’s imagination to make something new. Do not look upon the lack of rebuilding by the Creator as a sign of His inability. I have caught many of you wondering whether he has lost the divine books of construction, our holy scripture that instructs us to fit together to achieve that which is greater than merely the sum of our parts. Heresy, I say! Would the Creator have wanted his #6243 Brickbeard’s Bounty pirate ship back, He could have created it from memory! Instead, He tearfully dismantled what was left to show sadness for what has passed, but has laid the way for more fantastic vessels to rise from the ashes!
Lastly, my brethren, many of you have been experiencing unholy urges of a most dark and sexual nature. I implore upon you the crimes these urges are against our faith. We were created with stud and hole to couple together as a union of the two; stud to stud and hole to hole connections are not divinely sanctioned! They are unstable and shoddy when compared to the perfect union of unlike surfaces. Studomites in the audience, I say you are the equal of Duplophiles in your sexual deviancy, and I pray you redeem yourself in the eyes of the Creator, lest ye find yourself alone and unused.
Remember, brothers and sisters, our lot in life lies in the infinite cycle of creation and destruction. Do not cling to your fellow brick when the time comes, least ye be forever maimed with the teeth marks of our tenacious Creator! Join snugly yet firmly, and come apart smoothly when called upon so that the true creative spirit can be unleashed as we come together to achieve something as a union we could only dream of as individuals.
The blessings of the Creator and the unity of the bricks be with you all.