So, my roommate and I have an unusually large amount of plates for two guys in college thanks to bundled packages from Target. As a result, doing the dishes is never a pressing concern since if we run out of plates, there are always bowls. Run out of those, there are always mugs and teacups.
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You might think that, when your favorite NFL team is leading by 11 points with two minutes left in the game, it might as well be over. Surely, they’ve got it “in the bag” now and you can safely switch channels, right? You might think that, but that’s because you root for a GOOD team. Or, to use the term favored by Buffalo Bills fans, a BORING one. Dear Vianda, LLC Legal Department: I am writing you to complain about your Enzyte product. Numerous times on your television ad, you claimed that the product would make me bigger and enhance my maleness. Having completed your free thirty day trial, I have not noticed any significant growth. While my partner insists that I look bigger, I maintain that is simply because I have not been trimming my hair this past month. I insist you stop selling your misleading product immediately before I report you for false advertising. Also, even though after a month of using your product I have not seen an inch added to my 5’9” height, I have noticed that my cock is three inches longer. I suggest you warn about this side effect on your television advertisements. Sincerely, We at Clunkline love to network with our tubemates out there or the internet. It’s not easy to get an interview, though… Oftentimes those most important internetfolk are too awed by the glory of Clunkline or too resentful that soon they’ll be paying top dollar to advertise on our site in hopes of gleaning a few hits from this internet dynamo. However, every once in a while someone’s willing to swallow their pride and offer us a bit of time. The blurry version! This was performed by Scotch ‘n’ Soda Theatre. It won me and Chicken Chow Fun a nice shiny “Best Original Play” award, but I think it was in large part thanks to the performances of the cast (which included two other Clunkliners) and work of the director. Underground Man got nominated for Best Male Lead for his role, which is pretty hard to do since this festival always takes place after the nomination period is basically over. Technically, it also won “Best Post-show Music” but I don’t think that counts since they made the award up just to give it to us. Hold the Elevator was written, rehearsed, and performed in the space of 24 hours. I tagged it as a film because we don’t have a category for plays. July 12, 1919 Dear Mr. Chaplin, I just wanted to write to say how much of a fan I am of your work! Even here in Munich, whenever a poor paper-hanger like myself can scrap a few hundred thousand marks together, I can think of no better way to spend an afternoon than to watch you “tramp” about! A good joke, yes? I think I have a future as a writer, but am focusing on painting at the moment. I feel I just need a decisive look to define myself, and so I was writing to ask if I could use your trademark mustache to help with my own image? Reichsmarschall Ulrich von Pappenheim: You shall be held accountable for your actions, Martin Luther, and be made an example of. Luther: You cannot do this! Persecuting me opens a can of worms! Reichsmarschall Ulrich von Pappenheim: That brings me to the Edict of Worms: you must eat this bucket of worms. Luther: You suck! Along with the music quiz, I also have a little test to determine whether or not I think a movie is good. For this quiz, every film starts off with fifty points, then add or subtract points according to the following questions. At the end, the result will be my rating of the movie, on a scale from 0 to 100. Two years later… I finally get a copy.
This Is: Indian Territory, 13 Minute Director’s Cut from Adam Wright on Vimeo. |
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