To the tune of : “I wanna be sedated”, The Ramones
Only ’bout sixty sixty sixty sixty hours to gooooo
I wanna be that tampon
Deep inside you, deep down that hole
I wanna be that tampon
Just take me out that box
Put me in your pants
Hurry hurry hurry
Before you get a stain
You can’t control your bleeding
You can’t control your drain
No oh oh oh oh ohhhhh
Only ’bout fourty fourty fourty fourty hours to gooooo
I wanna be that tampon
Deep inside you, deep down that hole
I wanna be that tampon
Just swap me out that box
Replace me like a doc
Hurry hurry hurry
Before you get t-shock
You can’t control your bleeding
You can’t control your drain
No oh oh oh oh ohhhhh
Guitar solo
Now only twenty twenty twenty twenty hours to gooooo
I wanna be that tampon
Deep inside you, deep down that hole
I wanna be that tampon
Just swap me out that box
We’re running out of time
Hurry hurry hurry
Gotta soak up all that slime
You can’t control your body
You can’t control your flow
No oh oh oh oh ohhhhh
Just one one one one hour to gooooo
I wanna be that tampon
Deep inside you, deep down that hole
I wanna be that tampon
You’re clear for three more weeks now
The feeling is sublime
Hurry hurry hurry
Use me one last time
Try not to procreate
Or next time you’ll be late
No oh oh oh oh ohhhhh
Bah bah bah bah
Buh bah bah bah bah
I wanna be that tampon
Bah bah bah bah
Buh bah bah bah bah
I wanna be that tampon
Bah bah bah bah
Buh bah bah bah bah
I wanna be that tamponnnnnnnnn
To the Ramones, if you are reading this and are seething with rage I apologize profusely. In reality I am a huge fan and when the call for this article came in I couldn’t help but think of this tune. Please don’t hate me or come to my house and smash my head in with a guitar.
To the readers: I am aware this is the most offensive thing ever, and I am sorry.
To women: This was all Grabass-Champion’s idea.
