Dear Vianda, LLC Legal Department:
I am writing you to complain about your Enzyte product. Numerous times on your television ad, you claimed that the product would make me bigger and enhance my maleness. Having completed your free thirty day trial, I have not noticed any significant growth. While my partner insists that I look bigger, I maintain that is simply because I have not been trimming my hair this past month. I insist you stop selling your misleading product immediately before I report you for false advertising.
Also, even though after a month of using your product I have not seen an inch added to my 5’9” height, I have noticed that my cock is three inches longer. I suggest you warn about this side effect on your television advertisements.
Sincerely,
M. Kiwi
