Headache? Muscular pain? Newly missing limb? Botched back-alley kidney removal? Getting FUCKED in the exit wound from a ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE?!
Whatever your pain, you’ll NEVER NEED TO FEEL AGAIN. Except like JESUS.
From the makers of Nyquil, comes another drug that will make you feel like AN ANGEL RAILING SEVEN HOT JAPANESE GIRLS AT THE SAME TIME.
|You penis sooo biig! ^.^|
If you’ve just fallen from a seventy-story building into a bed of WHITE HOT ACID-COVERED RUSTY NEEDLES then get yourself some FUCKING Excedrin!!!
Excedrin’s motto is “What Ache?” but it should really be “What PICKAXE IN MY SKULL?”
If you nearly died of alcohol poisoning last night and now your head feels like it’s full of drag-racing CRAWLER TRANSPORTERS, Excedrin can SAVE YOUR LIFE and even your IMMORTAL SOUL.
Just take one, two, or a WHOLE BOTTLE in a bowl of MILK if you’re not a PUSSY and sleep for two FUCKING HARDCORE hours. You’ll wake up feeling similar to the SECOND COMING OF CHRIST.
The pills say “E” on them because it just might actually be Ecstasy! But it’s not! ‘Cause this shit will FUCK YOU UP IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. It will feel just like JUMPING A MOTORCYCLE OVER A BALL OF FIRE IN PILL FORM.