Preface by the Abbot Anslwyth in the time of King Henry VII:
These scripts, having been found on the old battlefield by a local farmer wound inside a glass spirits bottle, represent a great communication of our historic Royal Army from the time of the last offensive against the crown of England. Herein lie the last independent leaders of Gwynedd, and possibly insight into their demise. They are studiously replicated in the librarium of the Abbey by Brother Angloham.
July 14th, 1376
From: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
To: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
Subj: For Gwynedd!!!
Sire,
I write you in the best of spirits. My troops are poised and ready to take back the Valley Brythoniaid. If you recall, this is near the town Ynyslwyd adjacent to Cwmdare Wood. We hope to rendezvous with the main fyddin frenhinol after the crossing of river Nant-y-Ffrith. We will send advanced scouts to the north of Gwynedd to observe the Marchoglu Saesneg and possibly secure the tŵr gwylio there.
It is critical that your advanced skirmishers meet our left flank five miles north of Ffermwr field and we will finally be able to obliterate the enemy!
History will remember our crusade, and barring some miracle Wales will dominate Britain forever!
Yours in vassalage,
Llyweln Fawr
July 18th, 1376
From: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
To: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
Subj: Re: For Gwynedd!!!
I am somewhat perplexed by your gohebiaeth. The Valley Brithoniaid was captured by Sir Wyrm Abersylwyth one month ago. His milwyr hold the valley now, and the taverns are full of the sounds of their dathliadau. I fear that your army is not in the gywir position to launch our intended counterattack.
My advanced skirmishers are waiting for the gelyn in Pen-y-Bont, based on your most recent intelligence reports. I need to know immediately whether these reports have been made using Roman miles or Welsh miles as I fear we have been siarad about two completely different pethau. I cannot imagine why this might yn cael ei.
And please, confine yourself to referring to our nation as Cyrmu. I know you are of Gwynedd and you fight for her enaid, but for me and most Welshmen this fight is for all Cyrmu, and against all those who think that Gwynedd means Cyrmu!
Also, did you mean “debacle” where you wrote “miracle”? It would certainly be no miracle if Wales were barred from dominance by something as silly as a slip of the tongue!
Have you yet used the new mapiau I gave you? I sent them with my last courier, Yeoman Jones. They should clear up any dryswch you might have about our enemy’s lleoliad.
Please ymateb with all frys.
Your master,
His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
July 23rd, 1376
From: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
To: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
Subj: Re: Re: For Gwynedd!!!
My Lord,
Have you not been informed? Sir Wyrm Abersylwyth was dffelsh near Abelmareym before he could ever hufflyw the Valley Brithoniaid. This huddreth only made my camp last jilkm but I was sure a courier went in your wywrwl as well. The taverns are well full of the dathliadau of the English!
Also, upon investigation into the units used on our scouting trufthr, the surveyer who conducted that had died, a victim of being moved by his comrades to consume multiple rations of kittnil breads. Therefore, I propose we fufft a new unit, being known as Army Miles. The definition of which is one fifth the distance between Ffermwr field and our rendevous point. Please make this known to your sgowtiaid fynd i’r afael.
I must contend your preferred name for our land. Think about it. Are you not titled the Prince of Gwynedd? And if you rule the whole land, why is the land called Cyrmu? And might I be so bold as to remind you that Gwynedd is the cyfoethocaf area of Wales, upon which brenhinoedd uchel yn ennill coron?
I’m sorry to say no mapiau have been presented by any Yeoman Jones. Upon investigation I see that of the cohort of twenty five he came with fully two fifths were named Yeoman Jones, so it is possible I asked the wrong man. Ho! He must have been confused! Good thing mapiau have no strategic value. Unless I am thinking of mapiaw…which do…or mypiao which kind of do but only on weekends in the planting season. I shall consult a gramadegydd to determine the extent of our problem.
Vassalage,
Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
July 28th, 1376
From: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
To: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
Subj: Re: Re: Re: For Gwynedd!!!
Abersylwyth is dffelsh and no one told me? We must proceed to the taverns at once and fill the air with our dathliadau!
I thought everyone yn gwybod Yeoman Jones. Yeoman Llewellyn Jones? You met him at last year’s pêl-fasged party.
In any case, I have informed my surveyors of your awgrymodd new Army Miles unit of measurement. They said this syniad was stupid. I cychwynnodd them. They parhau. I cychwynnodd them again, this time with a ffa. They relented. You are commended for this wonderful syniad, but it does not make up for your poor perfformiad in other areas.
You are hereby archebu to cerdded immediately to Dulyn. Do not ffidil cig moch Ebrill llygoden, or when we meet I will give you bricyll. Do not test my gwenyn. You will find yourself siarad out of both gasgenni if you do.
Gwneud yourself ddefnyddiol! As for gramadegydd, do not utter such language.
Shut up,
His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
July 31st, 1376
From: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
To: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: For Gwynedd!!!
Arblermare wiffleln rugland my Lord! Yesterspork krughlth English most Jyddfufflfuphththhhhthwyln! My cychwynnodd hath juddgrud a ffa kliner-Ail-Oilpork wain thunter hu.
I have a whole pailnwyf named Yeoman Llewellyn Jones. You’ll have to be more gyefrt.
Also, hu or nuhu ail ffidil cig moch Ebrill llygoden? My gasgenni are strong!
So just keep that in mind, or else the whole damn thing is liable to fall apart.
Hands-over-yours,
Llywelyn Fawr
w.y. Have you seen the new Ioan Gruffudd puppet show and tapestry?
August 2nd, 1376
From: His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
To: The camp of Lieutenant Llywelyn Fawr
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: For Gwynedd!!!
You fool! How could you forget that caws grwylldeddgyll yberberggllyn cwsgogddywm Jyddfufflfuphththhhhthwylnwylnwylnwylnwylnwylnwylnwyln?! You foolish foolish yborddifyddlwmncwrnnm!
Gruffudd attended Ysgol Gynradd Gymraeg Aberdar (Ynyslwyd) (now situated in Cwmdare), Ysgol Gymraeg Melin Gruffydd, and Ysgol Gyfun Gymraeg Glantaf, where he sat his GCSEs and A-Levels.
O! I am slain.
Sincerely,
His Lordship Owain Glyndŵr, Prince Of Gwynedd
