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We argued for a while about what caption this should have, so one became the title. DEAL WITH IT.  IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK LOCK The runner-up captions were: Brute Force Solutions: Just because it can be done that way doesn’t mean it should be. and The lock only works once. I get bored during breaks from school. Basically, my breaks amount to me having nothing to do because my friends all love their families and therefore love spending time with their families. I do not have this luxury. My Thanksgiving break revolved around hanging out with Tanzmetall, watching the soft core porn episode of the Next Generation, and enjoying the cinematic masterpiece that is the Phantom Menace. That, and masturbating. This past weekend, I attempted to get back in touch with a high school classmate of mine. I noticed that next to his mugshot on the sex offender database, there were no ads. Nothing, anywhere on the page. I was more outraged by this omission than by the crime he “allegedly” committed. No marketing opportunity should go to waste! So, I hired a polling firm and did the field work to determine what ads would see a lot of traffic there. Here are my recommendations about what to advertise to readers of sex offender databases.
Hawaii has a surprisingly gritty underside. No place on Earth is free of stupidity… they just all have different stupidities, and some are more stupid than others. Maybe I wouldn’t have seen so much of this if I had the money to be a real tourist, but I scraped the bottom of the barrel, and here are the splinters I got.
Googling my screen name produced this gem from back in 2005. I have no idea about the context of this info, only that some group of teen aged girls thought it was funny as hell. I’ve separated out the actual conversation from her conversation about the conversation for your convenience. lime margar iiTa: HAHAHA lime margar iiTa: who talks like that?! INNER ATLANTA In a coming together of cultures, several representatives from the American hip hop community including Jay-Z, Lil John, and Michael Steele, met with many local first generation Chinese immigrant shopkeeps and buffeteers to endorse their favorite website, Crunkrine. We accept, gentlemen. Thank you! A few weeks ago, I helped a box turtle across the road. It was promptly eaten by a wolverine. As I returned to my car, I was flattened by the John Kerry campaign bus. Can I be called a wise man? |
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