Seriously, I can’t be alone in this. I mean, I’m not crazy, I know they’re not actual women you can “do the deed with”, so to speak. But their breasts are always perfectly proportioned! And I just know that, if they weren’t made of hard plastic, they’d be just the right size to gently cup in my hand.
And, of course, if they were real, they would love me.
Sure, it’s vaguely creepy when they don’t have heads, or faces, or arms, but you know what else didn’t have arms? The Venus de Milo. The sexy grandmother of all mannequins. And anyone alive would have sex with the Venus de Milo if it had functional waterworks.
Now, now, now, calm down. I’m not the first person to suggest that statues should come to life and be forced to mate with their creators. I’m also not the first person to hide in clothing racks until there’s no one around, and then masturbate furiously onto the closest dummy. And I won’t be the last.
Jesus Christ, you people are uptight! Ok, how many of you have played Civ IV? Isabella of Spain? Chick is fi-ine. Can anyone here honestly say they’ve never gotten her “Friendly” so she smiles at you? She’s so hot when she yawns while we’re trading world maps!
Of course, none of those ladies can compare to the very best: the hot jailbait on the school crossing sign. I mean, look at that ass! I am so jealous of the man-silhouette who gets to touch that allllll he wants.
Excuse me a minute….