Dear Armadillidium vulgare,
I know not the manner in which you came to be on my ceiling. Nor do I know why you struck my lower back as you fell from the ceiling to the back of my chair.
I do know, however, that you are now, or soon will be, in a sewer and presumably amongst vast amounts of waste matter.
P.S. I thoroughly relished the experience of peeing on you, you fucking invertebrate.