I’m sending you this e-mail because I just bought ebay item number 190353755240 (“FAKE POOP, PARTY FAVORS, FUNNY GAG GIFT FAKE HUMAN POOP”) from you for the Buy it Now price of $4.99 and I just realized that your shipping price is $68 for standard FedEx ground shipping. Now, I’ve done some research and found that for a standard fake turd the largest weight I could find was 0.74 pounds. And in your description it says the turd is about 4″ long so there are no concerns of dimensions that would drive up the shipping costs. This leads me to believe there was a mistake on your part, possibly a typographical error. Please correct this for me so that I can go ahead and let Paypal send you my payment.
Thank you,
Richard Kaasman
DEAR MR KASMANN
THANKYOU FOR BUYING FROM VENDTASTIC VENDORS !! !!
I AM SORRY THAT YOU THINK A MISTAKE WAS MADE BUT THERE WAS NO MISTAKE YOUR SHIPING COST SHOULD BE $68.00DOLLARS USD $ BECAUSE THE TOTAL WEIGHT OF YOUR ITEM’S IS ABOUT 43 POUNDS AND WE ARE SHIPING FROM OUR WAREHOUSE IN PEEKSKILL NY 10566 ALL THE WAY TO YOUR DOOR IN TEMPE AZ 85281 SO YOUR SHIPING IS $68.00 DOLLARS USD $
POSSIBLY YOU HAVE OVERLOOKED THAT OUR POLICY AS A SELLER IS TO GIVE YOU AT LEAST SEVEN (7 SIETE SEPT) COMPLIMENTARY BRICKS WITH EVERY ITEM WITH YOUR PARTICULAR ITEM WE USUALLY SHIP TWENTY (20 VENTE VINGT) BRICKS BECAUSE WE ESPECIALLY APRICIATE YOUR BSNESZS
THE REASON WE SEND YOU THE BRICKS IS A COURTESY FROM US TO YOU BECAUSE SOMETIMES WHEN YOU BUY A PRODUCT YOU FORGET YOU ALSO WANTED TO BUILD POSSIBLY AN ADDITION TO YOUR HOUSE OR A MAILBOX OR ANY OTHER APPLICATION THAT MAY USE SOME BRICKS
I THINK YOU WILL NOW UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR SHIPING COSTS $68.00 DOLLARS $ SO PLEASE MAKE YOUR PAYMENT SOON !!! !!!
THANK-YOU FOR YOUR QUESTIONS
VENDTASTIC001
Dear Vendtastic001
Oh, I see. Well, I am certain that I have no plans whatsoever on building an addition to my house or doing anything else that may require twenty bricks, so if possible could you just leave the bricks out and ship me the fake turd? I have a party that I’m going to on Thursday and I really need the turd before then because I planned to leave it on the toilet seat as if someone stood up while still pooping and just left it there.
Thanks,
Richard Kaasman
DEAR RICKY MARTIN
WHAT IF A HURRICANE WERE TO STRIKE TOMORROW AT YOUR HOME YOU MAY NEED BRICKS TO REPAIR IT
REMEMBER YOU CAN ALWAYS USE BRICKS FOR SO MANY THINGS !!! !!!1
SO YOU SHOULD JUST PAY FOR THE SHIPING AND THEN YOU WIL HAVE BRICKS JUST IN CASE
ALSO THE PRICE OF BRICKS IS INCREASING SO IT COULD BE VIEWED AS AN INVESTMENT POSSIBLY YOU COULD INVEST IN THESE BRICKS AND SELL THEM IN TEN YEARS AND RETIRE TO SOMEWHERE WARM LIKE OREGON
THAKN YOU WE WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR PAYMENT TODAY SO WE CAN SHIP IT IN TIME FOR YOUR POOP PARTY
THANKYOU !! !!!
VENDTASTIC001
Vendtastic001
I am absolutely, positively certain that I do not need bricks at all. Please leave them out of my order and adjust shipping accordingly or I will take my business elsewhere.
Thank you,
Richard Kaasman
DEAR COSMO KRAMER
I AM SORRY I CANNOT SHIP THIS ITEM WITHOUT THE BRICKS IT WOULD VIOLATE POLICY POSSIBLY IF YOU HATE BRICKS SO MUCH YOU SHOULD NOT GO TO THE PARTY NOBODY THERE LIKES YOU ANYWAY BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO HATE BRICKS HAVE NO FRIENDS YOU ALSO ARE PROBABLY A HOMESEXUAL DONT INFECT MY CHILDREN WITH YOUR GAY DISEASE FAG
GOODBYE
VENDTASTIC001
