Programming Pick-Up Lines

You may have heard a few mathematically-inspired, nerdy-as-hell pick-up lines such as “I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.” Until now, you may not have been familiar with their inbred cousins: programming pick-up lines. If you wish to remedy this situation, read on!

  • Some say I’m static but you know I can fill your private void.

  • Mind if I look up some terms in your API?

  • I see you declared boolean IsSexy true. Wanna check the value of long PenisSize?

  • I’ll call your subroutine if you cast my primitive type.

  • I prefer interpreters. Don’t plan ahead, just go with the flow, and embrace any surprises along the way.

  • I’d sure like to catch your exception and overflow my stack.

  • May I pipe my stdout to your stdin?

  • I can’t wait to inject my SQL into your application layer.

  • Mind if I extend your class and access your protected fields?

  • Come over here and break my switch statement if you want to see my big-O notation.

  • If you don’t fuck guys like me, at least give me a chance to throw your exception.

  • I’d love to query your tables and natural-join our columns.

  • You and me are like boolean logic. (Making hand gestures) I’m a 1 and you’re a 0.

  • Baby, with me, it’s while == true. It just goes on forever.

  • I’m like a global variable: I’m into everything.

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