Here I am, just doing my thing but everyone thinks its a grab to be the center of attention. I can’t help the way I was made you know!
Yeah, I’ve heard that sometimes I can be ugly, breaking out in spots and all that but really I do a lot of good. I feel like some people I know just hang around me too much, and others are really cold and distant.
Everyone like me is so far away too, and they are all part of these big organizations that everyone seems to like but I’m never grouped with them. But they depend on me!
Its hard being the sun.
Editor’s note: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re so sorry you had to endure this. Once again, nom de pomme missed his deadline and when he finally showed up to the Clunkline offices at 5:30 am last Tuesday holding a half eaten rack of barbeque ribs in one bare hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other he told us that we could all go ‘fuck the fuck off…bitch migillicutty donkey ass’. After that, he smashed his way into his office and drew this horrible article in yellow highlighter on the cover of an old Cracked magazine he took from the reception area. The proofs were headed to the printers and we have contractual obligations after all.
