Huh? Oh, God, what day is it…?
The sixth?!
Are you fucking serious?
My head… uuugh… I’d rather be giving birth to a pangolin from my eye than feel this headache…
Maybe I should get some Excedrin.
How many does it say on the bottle? Fuck it, I’ma just pour it out into a bowl and eat it with some milk…
Fuck, the milk’s expired. Guess I’ll have to use Half and Half.
Oh, yeah, that’s the stuff.
Jesus Christ I have to shit!
But I want to eat my Excedrin, too.
Fuck it, I’ll just bring it into the bathroom with me.
Oww, oww, oww, HOLY FUCK WHAT IS HAPPENING?!!
That was like dumping out a bucket full of runny oatmeal.
Is that someone’s panties… in my shit?
I ate someone’s panties?!
Oh, they’re hers…
What’s this on the computer? Who set my cursor to a dick and changed my desktop to goatse? Why do I have seventeen different shemale porn torrents going? I hate my friends.
And what is this? “Clunkline”? Did I…?
Oh shit.
I have a website. And I haven’t written anything in six days.
I swear, I’m never drinking again.
-The Collective Voice of Clunkline.
