Two days ago, I happened upon a goldmine. The Landmark is a weekly newspaper serving a small area of northern Massachusetts that encompasses Holden, Paxton, Princeton, Rutland and Sterling. You’ve probably never heard of any of those towns, because they’re all quite small. Nothing ever really happens in these towns of interest, but the police report is published weekly in near-perfect detail. Herein are some excerpts from this week’s paper.
Holden
5 July
7:41AM: Stray beagle brought in; slept in neighbor’s garage.
11:00AM: Brown water, Main St.
2:16PM: Possible stolen ring, Holly Cir.
4:27PM: Suspicious vehicles parked in authorized zone, Harris St.
5:07PM: Putnam Ln. resident concerned about helicopter overhead; probably news chopper for brush fire.
9:08PM: Suspicious vehicle near Eagle Lake; driver appears to be fishing.
9:09PM: Vehicle appears to be attaching a boat, Eagle Lake.
8 July
11:04AM: Request for assistance with smoke alarms that won’t turn off, no sign of fire or smoke.
11:14AM: Request for lookout for bicycle rider; mother needs to speak with her; found at 11:52AM.
10 July
10:30PM: Party at Marlen Rd.
11:30PM: Group of youths walking, Manning St.
11 July
11:40AM: Motorcycle charity ride coming through town.
Paxton
7 July
8:10PM: Request for police to check on person talking with kids in front of building, West St.
Princeton
6 July
1:30PM: Calf stuck under barn, Grow Ln.
Rutland
5 July
11:00AM: Lost cell phone.
9:27PM: Loud neighbors, Carly Cir.
7 July
12:40PM: Lost wallet.
8 July
10:36PM: Suspicious auto reported near Glenwood School. Parties are stargazing on top of their vehicle.
10 July
8:15AM: Report of duck with injured leg, Fisherman’s Rd.
Sterling
6 July
6:35PM: Older German shepherd standing in travel lane, Leominster Rd.
8:00PM: Skunk walking in yard, Justice Hill Rd.
7 July
6:43AM: Caller reports person running backhoe before 7AM, Greenland Rd.
9 July
10:36AM: Caller thinks squirrel is living in ceiling, Beaman Rd.
10 July
9:22AM: Several domestic chickens in road, John Dee Rd., West Boylston ACO looking for them.
11 July
7:29AM: Loose cow, Princeton/Jewett Rds.
