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Excerpts from Bulletin Board Posting Headlines at Woolford Community College, Juniper City, Michigan-Quality 24 inch rims for sale, slightly stolen. Manhattan – Clunkline staff writer Nom de Pomme has taken it upon himself to write yet another front-page article for the well known satire website whose humor is derived directly from some sort of obscure historical events and people that most have never heard of. Sources indicate the inspiration for this article came from another day-long reading spree of wikipedia and happening upon some random sort of thing he had never known of before. Hello, My name is Prester John and I am running for the state house of Delaware. Some of you might now me as the legendary medival king of an equally legendary medeval kingdom in India/Kazakhstan/Ethiopia. Well, those days are past and for the past 25 years my wife Carol and I have considered ourselves full fledged Delawareans. Prior to my being working in various faculties around the globe for the past several years, my life’s passion had been the food service industry. I believe that Position #82945 (Dish Washer I) would afford me the spiritual and physical self-realization that I have not been able to find in the world of academia. Dear Sir, I am attempting a polar expedition utilizing the new dirigible America. We will succeed where others have frozen solid, in traversing the frozen north until we come upon the pole of the Earth. To this end, I am asking for a meager 75,000$ in gold to secure the necessary provisions and film-cameras for our crew. Remember, it will be with great renown that we will land and advertise any business who invests in this venture at the pole itself. Thanks, Play against your friends as a group of daring allied fighter pilots who have been shot down over enemy territory. Make your way through the European countryside as you attempt to escape to Sweden, Switzerland, or England. Team up with underground resistance and partisans to report and sabotage enemy troop movements, materiel, and infrastructure. But watch out! The Huns are out in force and you can be spotted by a patrol at any time! Get caught and be sent to the stalag! Game over! Only the best flying aces can make it back to their own units and take revenge on the pilots who shot them down. Are you brave enough to…BAIL OUT!? Citing a ridiculous act of Parliament from 1848, French President Nicholas Sarcozy jumped on the 24-hour window of opportunity afforded to “whomever shall be in charge of France” to claim ownership of the United Kingdom and the Crown itself if “ever a song honoring those frog-eaters is sung in our capital, by Jove they can have the bloody mess.” You have been selected to join the Pittsburgh militia. Please report to 812 Penn avenue and bring your firearm of choice, five pounds of provisions, and three sets of moccasins. The territorial governor has mandated that all able-bodied men join in the campaign to overrun and destroy the Connecticut menace. good day, We all know the impact the Glasflub has had on daily life, but there are still millions of angry opponents who are organizing a march protest on the streets of HyperWashington 2.0 this weekend. “Glasflub represents something that I disagree with” said organizer Harry Frendlestein “I cannot make that point clear enough” |
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