Manhattan – Clunkline staff writer Nom de Pomme has taken it upon himself to write yet another front-page article for the well known satire website whose humor is derived directly from some sort of obscure historical events and people that most have never heard of. Sources indicate the inspiration for this article came from another day-long reading spree of wikipedia and happening upon some random sort of thing he had never known of before.
“Yeah I went to Clunkline like I do every day, and I think we can agree like most of America does, and there’s this new article by Nom de Pomme” said avid Clunkline reader Paul Smithlington, president of Clunkline Fans International. “I start reading it and it hits me that I have no idea what he could possibly be referencing. I mean I like reading it regardless because of the swear words and references to violence but the underlying hilarity is lost on me. Why would this ‘Charles XIV John’ care about what sort of underwear he had on during Christmas time? It’s beyond me.”
Smithlington’s sentiments were echoed by a growing number of onlookers who had gathered outside Clunkline’s main editorial office in Manhattan. Confused readers had been waiting there for Nom de Pomme’s arrival in order to ask him just what the most funny parts of the article were supposed to be. “I mean I can tell its funny, but I don’t know why” said onlooker James Franzen, “Its like when someone makes a joke and the whole room laughs and you don’t know why but you laugh too. I honestly think this article was written for himself, and maybe, you know, Tanzmetall too.”
While interviewing the crowd, Tanzmetall arrived to work in his trademark white hummer with white tinted windows, dressed in a white silk uniform and frosted white glasses. He could not be reached for comment before he unleashed his bear-squad on the crowd to clear a path to the doorway. A small child asking for an autograph was hurled personally by Tanzmetall into a dumpster across the street. Later on, Nom de Pomme arrived by being thrown out of a speeding taxi cab into the gutter. He reeked of liquor and threatened one onlooker before falling to the ground and vomiting, then becoming unresponsive.