Prior to my being working in various faculties around the globe for the past several years, my life’s passion had been the food service industry. I believe that Position #82945 (Dish Washer I) would afford me the spiritual and physical self-realization that I have not been able to find in the world of academia.
Truly it is the endeavor of the humble man to clean up the food waste of the post-hungry masses. In my past research in the mating rituals of the European hedgehog, I often witnessed an omega male competing out of his league against younger alphas for the desirable females. These specimens, lacking in physical strength and appearance would often attempt to curry favor by cleaning the foot-pads of the females with their tongues, much like a cat. In those omega-hogs I see myself. No longer Doctor Apple, but rather Norm “dishy magoo” Apple. (The nickname is negotiable)
In no role or task do I view myself above its calling. I will engage in any humiliating or noble venture with a full heart and a skip in my step. I will raise the morale of Store #435 by my constant and reliable attitude and lock-step obedience of management.
I hope you take my application under serious consideration. I am confident that in any objective comparison my skills and desire for dish washership will shine beyond the competition.
Thank you again,
Norm D. Apple
