Father,
Since my running away from Devonshire Academy, I know you have been fraught with worry. Fear not. I have been taken in by the Raj of this land and given a great office in his government. My cloak is large and warm, and there is all the sheep I can eat. May the great pigeon I now attach this to ride the wind home to your eyes.
Yours,
Winsley Farragut, Grand Marshall of His Majesties Sheeperies
***
Dear sir,
I am afraid you have the wrong number. Please redial your pigeon.
Yours,
Jim Bucketmender, bucket mender
