Exterior, Cargo Ship Deck. Agents of the international criminal syndicate S.C.O.U.R.G.E. are boarding the SS Nonchalant, a military weapons freighter disguised as a civilian non-weapons freighter. Strewn across the deck are red steel barrels and wooden boxes clearly marked with stamps of “EXPLOSIVE AMMUNITION”. There are thousands more below in the hold, as seen by a SCOURGE agent peering though a port-hole. The agents assemble their weapons and move silently down the deck to the command house.
Interior, Command House.
Captain: You have the bridge number one, I’m going to go walk out onto the unlit deck and stare at the sea next to that loud rumbling heat exchanger.
XO: Ok
The captain walks out to the railing and is beaten to death by the gang of agents which one of them he tried to shoot but it just went click and then he picked up a hunk of something and the rest joined in a beat him to death.
Agent: What do we do with the body?
The sea noises grow louder, and waves lap up against the ship.
Other Agent: Cram it into the heat-exchanger and let’s go.
Interior, Command House
XO: I know this is a secret military mission, but I feel like letting my guard down for just a second.
The XO puts his feet up on the control panel and leans back just as the agents pour in, drag him out kicking and screaming and throw him into the heat-exchanger as well. Blood and guts go everywhere.
Interior, Command House Bunk Room
In the bunk room the second officer and another man are getting ready for their shift on the bridge.
Second Officer: Well, looks like it’s our turn on the bridge. But I have a bad feeling about this.
The other man turns around and is none other than Blaze McGunnz who has retired from the international crime syndicate fighting business to become a secret military arms sailor.
Blaze: Well here let’s arm ourselves to the teeth just in case.
Second Officer: Good idea.
The two put on tactical gear and strap their weapon holsters on. Blaze grabs an extra bag of hand grenades as well.
Meanwhile, back in the command house…
Agent: Here get that intercom and tell everyone that like we’re in control and we’re taking this stuff back to our boss Snyder.
Other Agent: We’re SCOURGE and this boat belongs to Snyder now and there’s nothing you can do about it!
Blaze: Oh yeah?
Agent: Oh no it’s Blaze!
Blaze shoots the agent with an assault rifle, who goes flying though the starboard command house window and straight into the heat-exchanger
Agent: GRABBLLWWWWBLARCH
Blood and guts go everywhere. The other agents dive for cover and start shooting. Stray bullets strike the instrumentation of the command room which erupts in showers of sparks and a reverberating explosion. Cabinets under the instrumentation are clearly labeled “FIREWORKS STORAGE”.
Blaze: Come on second officer, let’s go out onto the deck!
Blaze and second officer run out the port hatch and down the stairs but not before Blaze unpins and drops three handgrenades. They rush down the stairs as the explosion occurs, and two flaming bodies run blindly out and straight into the heat-exchanger. Flaming blood and guts go everywhere. The rest of the agents were in cover and come running down after the two.
Agent: Call Snyder and tell him Blaze McGunnz is here!
Other Agent: Snyder, Blaze McGunnz is here!
Snyder: I am a very bad guy, so I want you to kill him until he is dead.
Other Agent: Yes sir!
An agent picks up a megaphone and calls to Blaze.
Agent: Surrender Blaze! You don’t want to end up in the heat exchanger do you?
Other Agent: Sir I can see him but he’s hiding behind that box of explosive ammunition and I don’t have a shot!
Blaze pulls out an automatic pistol, loads and cocks it, then nods at the second officer.
Blaze: Try this on for size!
Blaze stands up and throws the pistol, which lands and goes off near the agents. The bullet ricochets three times then goes though a rope holding a crane in place that was lifting a running, portable heat-exchanger, which sweeps across the pitching deck and consumes three agents. It also consumes a box of explosive ammunition, which blows it to pieces. Flaming machine bits coated in blood and guts go everywhere, setting off other explosions and setting loose other portable heat-exchangers. Soon, the deck is a burning, slippery, pitching death-maze of blood and sliding machinery. Also Snyder arrives by helicopter.
Snyder: Blaze, you have bested my agents again. This boat will totally go off any minute. Come with me and I will make you a valuable member of my organization.
Blaze: I’d rather jump straight into a heat exchanger!
Blaze starts shooting at Snyder, who runs and hides behind a barrel of C4.
Second officer: It’s going to explode! Lets get out of here to safety! You go first, I don’t want to be thought of as leaving anyone behind!
Blaze and second officer run for the helicopter and take off.
Interior, crew mess. Fifty crew men are eating lunch and listening to the booming noise above.
Crewman: Wonder what that is?
Exterior, Deck. Snyder and the remaining two agents get in a launch-boat and boat off while shooting at the helicopter. An agent’s bullet ricochets off the blades of the helicopter and flies straight through the cargo port hole and the ship explodes like a supernova. Heat exchangers rain down into the ocean and around Snyder’s boat like meteors.
Snyder: I’ll get you Blaze!
THE END
